18 August 2026
The Hon. Jim Lloyd knows the value of creating spaces where men feel comfortable opening up.
Diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2002, Jim has been involved with PCFA for more than 20 years and has worked extensively with PCFA’s Support Group Network and MatesCONNECT, our telephone-based peer support service connecting men with trained volunteers who understand the prostate cancer experience.
Supporting and encouraging men who don’t speak up in support group meetings requires sensitivity, awareness, and intentional facilitation.
Silence in these settings is often misinterpreted as disengagement or lack of interest, but in many cases, it reflects deeper factors such as cultural expectations, fear of judgment, lack of confidence, or uncertainty about how to contribute. Creating an environment where all voices feel welcome—especially those less inclined to speak—strengthens both participation and decision-making.
One of the most important steps is to understand why some men remain quiet. Social conditioning often plays a role. While men are sometimes stereotyped as assertive, many are raised in environments that discourage expressing vulnerability or uncertainty. In a support group setting, this can translate into reluctance to speak unless they feel completely certain of their contribution. Support groups are more complex than in other situations.
Many men may be embarrassed by their own circumstances. This can often be very personal when dealing with issues such as incontinence and sexual function. Others may fear criticism, worry about saying the wrong thing, or feel that more dominant voices have already shaped the direction of the conversation.
Facilitators and leaders can address this by establishing clear norms that encourage respectful listening and value diverse contributions. At the beginning of meetings, it helps to explicitly state that all perspectives are welcome and that there are no “wrong” contributions. Reinforcing this consistently builds psychological safety—a key condition for participation. When people trust that they won’t be ridiculed, embarrassed, or dismissed, they are more likely to engage.
Another effective strategy is to vary the ways people can contribute. Not everyone is comfortable speaking in large groups, so offering alternative formats can make a significant difference. Small group discussions can sometimes be a less intimidating setting. These contributions can then be brought into the larger discussion, ensuring their ideas are heard without requiring them to speak publicly.
Active facilitation also plays a crucial role.
Skilled facilitators pay attention to who is speaking and who is not, and they create space accordingly. This might involve gently inviting input from quieter individuals without putting them on the spot.
Building relationships outside of formal meetings can further support engagement. Men who feel connected to others in the group are more likely to contribute during discussions. Informal conversations, check-ins, and social interactions help build trust and familiarity. When individuals feel known and respected, they are more confident sharing their own personal health journeys or raising questions about treatments.
It is also important to recognise and challenge dominant dynamics within meetings. Sometimes a few outspoken individuals unintentionally monopolise discussions, leaving little room for others. Setting guidelines around turn-taking, limiting speaking time, or using structured discussion methods can create more balanced participation.
I have seen this happen on several occasions within support groups where one individual speaks at length about their own story, leaving little time for others to contribute. Encouraging active listening—where participants focus on understanding rather than responding -also shifts the culture from competition to collaboration.
Providing positive reinforcement can make a lasting impact. When quieter participants do contribute, acknowledging their input respectfully encourages future participation. This doesn’t mean singling them out in a way that feels uncomfortable, but rather affirming the value of their ideas as part of the broader discussion. Over time, this builds confidence and reinforces the message that their voice matters.
Finally, patience is essential. Participation styles do not change overnight, and not everyone will become highly vocal. The goal is not to force people to speak, but to ensure they have genuine opportunities to do so if they choose.
The goal is to respect different communication styles while continuing to create inclusive conditions.
In summary, supporting men who don’t speak up in support group meetings involves creating psychological safety, offering varied ways to contribute, facilitating thoughtfully, building relationships, managing group dynamics, and reinforcing participation.
When these elements are in place, quieter voices are more likely to emerge, enriching the conversation and strengthening the support group. It is also important to recognise that some men still get great benefit from support groups even if they never speak publicly at these meetings.
For information and support, go to www.prostate.org.au or call 1800 22 00 99 to speak with a Prostate Cancer Specialist Nurse.
